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Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
But at least it makes me
RelapseIt’s like counting
along your limbs -
remembering a time
‘just one more’
made you feel better.
- & you’re sitting there
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.
It spreads, like fire,
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.
I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?
What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –
Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival
(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)
We fight for our dream.
We're just waiting to die.
The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.
The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.
So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?
Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?
Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
the name that cuts like a knife,
it's all that you see inside,
is breaking with every breath I take
the only thing I can't seem to face.
Battle in my MindEat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
I love you..
In The Daylight
In The Daylight
A false downfall
An unexpected revival
Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness
In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest
I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic
I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid
A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete
Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat
She does not have,
She has many of them.
A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.
If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.
She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.
She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
she will smile,
because she is truly happy alone.
She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.
wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.
she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"
in that moment,
we forget to exist.
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.
In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.
There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.
But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.
That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.
But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.
No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.
So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl
Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile
I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you
If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down
Your gorgeous eyes
BOR:R C2: Drakul
" Death is the obscene mystery, the ultimate affront, the thing that cannot be controlled. It can only be denied." Susan Sontag
When the moons were high in the sky, their glow barely matching that of the crystal's, Zarak and Martarj reached the peak, and they craned their necks and gawped in awe at the ominous, towering and ruined castle that loomed over them. Its spires touched the sky, the tattered remains of black flags hanging on rusty poles barely moving in the midnight air. The bricks that still remained attached to the castle had been made with the utmost care, while the bricks that lay strewn about the snow shone with ice
BOR:R C1: Apilos Alps
"Racism is a refuge for the ignorant. It seeks to divide and to destroy. It is the enemy of freedom, and deserves to be met head-on and stamped out." Pierre Berton
They touched down when the sun had set, and the moment they touched the ground, Martarj's knees gave way, and he landed face-first on the snow, panting. Zarak didn't say a word he was transfixed by Martarj's pitch-black wings, which were limp, their black feathers all the darker against the whiteness of the snow which encased the mountain they were now on. Snow fell lightly, and as the suns were setting, the glare of them against the white snow was not overly intense
BOR C7: Demons From Above
"You can only come to the morning through the shadows." J.R.R Tolkien
Martarj and Zarak spent that night in silence, the only part of New Riza visible being the tip of the highest ruined skyscraper.
"So, what are Damekiirs?" Martarj asked at last.
"Talking to me again, are we?" Zarak snapped. He still had not gotten over the previous night's events.
"Yes, we are," Martarj snapped back. "So?" Zarak sighed and fished his portable laptop out of his pocket. He scrolled through various images, and quickly averted his gaze when he arrived at the image he was searching for. His head still turned away, Zarak handed it to Martarj. It took M
BOR C6: Memories By Fireside"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present
When Zarak finally regained consciousness, he saw that he was laying face-down on a riverbank. Its water was dried up, save for a steady trickle that quickly turned into mud. Zarak then felt heat at his back, and turned around to see Martarj sitting cross-legged on the barren ground, staring at the fire that he had built. When Martarj saw that Zarak had woken up, he gave a small smile and said:
"You're really heavy, you know carried you only half a mile and my arms were ready to fall off."
Martarj looked back to the fire, and Zarak saw with a pang
BORC5:Man In The Emerald Cloak
"But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?" James Thurber
Zarak and Martarj walked through the archway, and Zarak looked to Martarj, whose expression was one of utter and complete excitement, an absolute contrast to Zarak's strange look of both fear and barely contained rage. Martarj jumped and his smile fell as the torches at either side of the cavern suddenly lit up. Pulling Martarj after him, Zarak rushed into a corner shrouded by darkness. Zarak and Martarj stood there for an entire minute, their shoulders raised like the hackles of a threatened fox in
Taking A ChanceEach day, we dream of possibilities.
What if we ourselves could fly?
What if those societies had never faded into the dust?
What if we had never emerged from the water?
But these hypothetical ideas
We could never put into play.
But that which we could control,
To think back to it and say 'what if?'
That is true pain.
Every Angel Deserves a Child"I can't feel the unfurling of my wings, Daddy."
I was not her father. I had entered her life when she was two years old, and she called me Daddy since she never knew her real father. Her mother's death two years ago made me the sole, living parent of an eleven-year-old, and I never felt like I was the right person for the job.
"What do you mean, Asrin?"
"Mom always said that when puberty started I would be the swan that emerged from the ugly duckling. She said I would be able to fly gracefully towards my dreams. But, I don't feel it."
As much of a woman as she was becoming, she was still a child. I wanted to answer her question, but I really had a hard time discussing her blossoming womanhood in the middle of a laundromat. Her pretty eyes were pleading with me, but I told her we'd talk later.
Janet had told Asrin a lot of things before she succumbed to the cancer. The last week or so of Janet's life were morphine-induced fantasy, I think.
Janet and I had met during c
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More